How many times

Is Jesus lecturing on Church organization and discipline? Forgiveness? Money-lending protocol? We have taken lessons on all three topics from this portion of Matthew’s gospel over time. In fact, the most recent overhaul of the conflict mediation section of the Book of Forms that guides Canadian Presbyterians in our legislative, administrative and disciplinary matters, uses Matthew 18 as it’s foundation. Oddly, the disciplinary section of the book of forms doesn’t dwell on the forgiveness angle, which is where Jesus makes his strongest point. Admit it – some of you cringed when the parable comes to its rather brutal conclusion…the notion that imprisonment and torture is God’s design for those who do not forgive from their heart.

It's an effective rhetorical technique that the gospel uses – a story of horrifying familiarity offered to answer the question “How many times must I forgive?”

Peter’s question doesn’t come out of thin air. Jesus’ explanation about how best to solve conflict and disagreement among believers ends with a broad statement of grace: and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector. 

Peter and the others know precisely what this means for Jesus – they have witnessed first hand how he treats Gentiles and tax-collectors…he treats them like human beings. So, this pattern for calling out the ‘offender’ comes full circle. The offender is ‘taken to the church,’ not chased from the church. And Peter endures for as long as he can before he asks the question “How many times?” Surely there MUST be a limit on the grace we are bound to offer…?

 

On the verge of an annual meeting, this feels like a perfect text. In a year where we struggle to ‘re-establish’ our patterns of worship and work; fellowship and fun. How many times over the last 12 or 18 months have we misunderstood one another – mis-represented our ideas – shared our frustrations – failed to really listen. And how many times have we longed for everything to be ‘just like it was?’

We have been practicing Jesus’ pattern without realizing it – having conversations and sharing emails and smoothing one another’s ruffled feathers. Session has met with building and financial stewardship committees’ multiple times to share different points of view – to try to harmonize different approaches to the management of the congregational business. We do not always agree – and that is only natural – but we have found ways to accommodate a wide variety of perspectives…usually. And the key to that is not simply gathering a larger audience, and thereby increasing your chances of a majority opinion. The key is forgiveness.

Forgiveness, as Jesus suggests in the parable meant to answer Peter’s question, has the potential to be contagious. Once forgiven – as the ‘wicked slave is forgiven’ – we ought to be more inclined to offer forgiveness. This parable is the inverse of ‘do unto others.’ The wicked slave does NOT learn a lesson – does not change his stripes – and he will suffer for it. This is not a warning about what God might do (God is not inclined to torture) this is a warning about how the stubborn reluctance to offer grace creates hell for those whose desire to triumph – to ‘be right.’ The torture of the one who refuses to forgive the debt is self-inflicted. So forgive ‘from your heart’, says Jesus. Save yourself the lasting pain of carrying the heavy burden of entitlement.

So, what makes this the perfect lesson for us today, of all days?

Soon we will adjourn, and enjoy a lovely lunch, and some will check their watches and make their way to the door to avoid the meeting that follows. A meeting that, every year, seems to follow the same pattern. We linger in the reports of various groups and committees, re-telling the stories of challenges and triumphs, hating that we might soon have to think about the budget, and talk about our worries around finances. It’s been my experience that annual meetings don’t always bring out the best in us. But do not fear, because we are learning and growing and changing under the Spirit’s guidance.

This year we have practiced patience and offered forgiveness as the difficult conversations emerged around budgets and salaries and stewardship and legacy. This year we are learning how to bring our disagreements to the table, and how to listen and learn from one another. We continue to learn patience and have discovered new ways to talk about old problems. In short, we are (always) learning how to be the community described by Jesus – a community that talks AND listens; a community that agrees to disagree occasionally; a community that follows procedure (we are Presbyterian, after all) but is willing to learn from the mistakes that are sometimes made in the name of procedure. In short, we’re a forgiving community – though it’s hard, and our forgiveness is often a work in progress – still we see the value of finding a way forward together.